While I’m a huge proponent of keeping abreast of the current styles, I actually think you can wear absolutely anything you want to on your body and look stunningly beautiful, whether your outfit is particularly stylish or not. The key? Confidence. Yes, confidence is one of the most beautiful things you will put on today, and it can make or break your outfit. So let’s talk about the beauty of confidence and how to develop it.
We’re continuing our 2025 Inner Beauty Series today, and you can always find all of these character-building posts through the link in the top menu.
We’re Not Talking About This…
Let’s face it. We all know a person or two who has just a little too much self-confidence, with an emphasis on self. That’s not our goal here. I’m not an advocate of building your ego up or focusing so much on self-actualization or personal rights that you become full of pride. Truthfully, pride is not beautiful at all. And it can even be a big turn-off. And pride is an attitude that can lead us into faulty beliefs and missteps.
A healthy dose of confidence radiates as poise, but even an ounce of pride and arrogance acts as a poison in your life. The brand of “confidence” that makes others feel small isn’t pretty, but is, in fact, petty.
What is Beautiful Confidence?
But there is a confidence that makes a woman beautiful, winsome. A healthy confidence helps a woman to enter a room with a smile on her face and poise. It gives her energy and vibrance and assurance.
We all face situations that make us feel a little tentative. But if we have an inner peace about who we are and what we bring to the table, we can still walk into those conversations and occasions with a degree of calm and poise. And isn’t that the real manifestation of confidence? A poise that isn’t ruffled or thrown by the actions of others, the climate in the room or the daunting task ahead?
Why Healthy Self-Confidence is Beautiful
A woman who has a healthy confidence radiates poise.
- She is self-aware, but not self-absorbed.
- She knows who she is, so she doesn’t need to compare herself to others.
- She doesn’t need to take, so she has more to give.
- She doesn’t compete, but collaborates instead.
- She doesn’t need to make others feel small in order to feel greater.
- She makes others feel comfortable in their skin because she is at ease in hers.
- She’s not a victim, so she doesn’t make other people feel guilty.
- She graciously receives compliments and gives them generously to others, too.
- She knows her purpose and takes joy in participating in it.
- She’s not threatened by others’ successes, but joins them in celebrating.
- She’s aware that life is a series of seasons and she’s fully present in the season she’s in.
- She’s reliable and capable and trustworthy. No one has to “be careful” around her.
- She’s authentic and relatable because she’s not hiding or pretending.
Can you think of other ways a woman who has a healthy dose of self-confidence is beautiful?
6 Ways to Boost Healthy Confidence
#1 – Stop comparing yourself to other people.
Especially in an age of social media, we’re prone to compare almost everything about ourselves to others. Unfortunately we tend to compare our worst moments to other people’s carefully curated highlights.
We may assume that if we draw enough comparisons and come out on top more often than not, our confidence will grow. But you and I know that just doesn’t happen. This game only feeds our insecurities. One minute we’re up and the next we’ve hit bottom. That’s no way to live. Comparison is a trap. Most of us fall into it occasionally, but wise is the woman who recognizes she’s in it and immediately climbs out.
I’ve found that the best way to avoid the comparison trap is to rejoice with those who are celebrating, empathize with those who are struggling, be glad for those who have succeeded and thank God for the blessings that others have received.
#2 – Speak the truth about yourself.
If you’re in the habit of putting yourself down out of some warped sense of modesty, stop it. Putting yourself down is not modest; it’s ungodly.
Think about the ugly lies you’ve been thinking or saying out loud about yourself and determine to speak the truth instead. I think the best place to find the truth about yourself is in the Bible. Some mistakenly think that the Bible just points out our faults. Indeed, it draws a clear line between right and wrong behavior. But God’s Word also tells us that we are “skillfully made,” that we are “precious,” that we were created with purpose and dignity, and that we are loved.
#3 – Surround yourself with healthy, confident women.
You don’t have to completely abandon the people in your life who battle a low self-esteem. But make a focused effort to invest in relationships with women who know who they are and who are comfortable and joyful in their own skin. These are women who will not drain you, but will inspire you. Learn from them. And enjoy the sisterhood that’s only possible when we’ve learned to be our authentic selves.
#4 – Take care of your physical, emotional and spiritual needs.
Balance, ladies. Again, I’m not encouraging you to forsake your obligations or service to others in order to focus on self. But neither should you neglect your own self-care in order to run ragged for others. That’s not healthy. That’s abusive.
Instead, take a little time for basic self-care each day. Have a daily quiet time. Get in some exercise. Eat right. Take time for grooming. Buy something new and pretty to wear occasionally. When we treat ourselves poorly we begin to think poorly of ourselves. Instead, treat yourself like the beautiful, amazing vessel you are.
#5 – Receive compliments with joy and grace.
Do you deflect compliments with self-degradation or sarcasm? Stop it. That’s not gracious, nor is it thoughtful toward the person who has complimented you.
Look, compliments sometimes make me uncomfortable, too. For years I couldn’t even receive compliments from my own husband graciously. But then I realized how hurtful and whiny it is to throw praises back in people’s faces. Essentially, deflecting a sincere compliment says to the other person, “You’re wrong.”
Simply smile and say, “thank you.” Then, either publicly or privately, thank God for the grace, gift or ability He gave you that garnered the compliment. That’s how you practice true humility that also nurtures a healthy, beautiful self-confidence.
#6 – Take your rightful seat at the table.
I find that one of the hardest places for many women to feel confident is, surprisingly, in the company of other women. Somewhere along the way – maybe in middle school??? – we began to compete with other females rather than feeling safe in their company. Or maybe you or I didn’t mean to do that, but that’s the atmosphere that was created.
But we’re not in middle school anymore, are we? It’s time to recognize that each woman brings something unique and beautiful to the table. I gather with a couple of other bloggers in my same niche on a monthly basis for a couple of hours of good conversation. And we text each other frequently with questions and victories and insecurities and tips. They do the same thing I do and many of my readers are probably also their readers. But we don’t feel competitive. Instead we choose to collaborate.
Competition among women builds insecurity and isolation. Collaboration, community and mutual celebration breeds confidence and, ultimately, success.
Would you like to join the conversation?
When I was growing up, like most gals, I struggled with a low self-esteem. I was surprised when that lack of confidence followed me into adulthood. I was even more surprised to discover along the way that most women struggle with feeling good about themselves. It’s an epidemic, ladies.
And while I think many of us finally begin to outgrow it in our 40s and 50s, we all still have days when we feel like clumsy, gawky little girls in women’s bodies. And don’t even get me started on body image! That’s another discussion really.
But friends, it’s time to put aside our childish ways and be grown ups in this area. Self-confidence is beautiful and winsome. And a lack of self-confidence is off-putting. It’s a vicious, hurtful cycle and only we can stop it.
As usual, I’ve included some biblical insights on this topic in the Blessed for My Day portion of this post below. Those are purely optional. But I’d love to hear your thoughts on this topic today, too. Please click on JOIN THE CONVERSATION below and share.
PS – Many of you have kindly remarked about my husband’s photos, which we are using for these inner beauty posts. I wanted to share with you that a very limited number of his photos can now be purchased for download and for delivery in his Etsy Store. If you’d like to purchase a particular print seen on DFMD but not in his Etsy Store, just contact him through the link in his store.
Don’t Miss a Post:
If you like what you’re seeing here at Dressed for My Day, I invite you to subscribe to my email list. You can receive an email each time I post (about 6 times weekly) or just on Saturdays. You choose! But you’ll also receive the password to open up all the subscriber freebies I offer. You can subscribe HERE.
Blessed for My Day
I’ve committed to make these Inner Beauty blog posts palatable even for those who do not adhere to biblical precepts. But if you are here in this devotional section, I assume it is safe for me to let you in on a little secret. I don’t think it’s really possible to have a healthy confidence without a right perspective on who we are in relation to our Creator. A healthy self-confidence begins with a right God-confidence.
Hopefully you and I know that there is a God, He is our Creator and He carefully fashioned us with amazing detail and love. He knows we are sinners. But He loves and values us so much that He sent His Son Jesus to die for our sins and restore us to a relationship with Him. Bottom line, God values me. He gives me great value. Thus, I can walk into each day knowing that I am valuable. THAT is the source of my confidence
For You created my innermost parts;
You wove me in my mother’s womb.
I will give thanks to You, because I am awesomely and wonderfully made;
Wonderful are Your works,
And my soul knows it very well.
My frame was not hidden from You
When I was made in secret,
And skillfully formed in the depths of the earth;
Your eyes have seen my formless substance;
And in Your book were written
All the days that were ordained for me,
When as yet there was not one of them.
How precious also are Your thoughts for me, God!
How vast is the sum of them! ~ Psalm 139:13-17
Kay,
Thank you for an amazing discussion of confidence. Your image of healthy, insightful, confidence describes a woman who makes others feel joyful and happy in her presence. That is certainly the person I strive to be and I will return often to this post, to find inspiration.
I think this is my favorite post you’ve ever written! There is real wisdom in your words. Thank you!!!
Tammie
In so glad you found it meaningful. Thanks so much for letting me know. Confidence is something I have certainly struggled with and I assume others do, too.
Hi friends. I hear some people are having a hard time leaving a comment on this post for some reason. Let me know if that happens to you. And let me know if you get an error message of some kind. Thanks!
Thank you for this article! You are a kind and gentle soul and I very much enjoy reading your posts and watching your videos. You are a wonderful and positive start to my day!
Blessings always.