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Inner Beauty Q + A

February 8, 2020
On Saturdays we talk about Inner beauty

Happy weekend gals! Today we’re taking a little turn, but still going in the same direction. We’ve talk about inner beauty here at Dressed for My Day on Saturdays, and I love the way you gals join the conversations I start. But today I’m letting you begin the conversation and I’ll be answering your inner beauty questions. Maybe once a month we’ll start doing an inner beauty Q + A.

Inner Beauty Q + A with Kay

I’m not actually going to answer every question. Hahaha! When I started trying to answer, I realized that I can’t possibly know enough of your situation to tell you what to do. To even try to answer your complex issues with simplistic answers would only minimize your situations and throw arrogance at the very things that have undoubtedly caused you sleepless nights. And, unlike God, I don’t “know the hearts of all men.” So I just don’t feel comfortable offering concrete answers.

Instead, I’m going to share biblical principles that I believe apply to your questions. I think the Bible holds the answer to all of our questions and conundrums. Sometimes the answers are direct and easy to spot, but more often than not, we have to look for principles that echo throughout the pages of Scripture and apply those to the situations of life with prayer, humility and faith.

So for each question, I’ll supply some scriptures and principles. If the question is yours or you have a similar predicament, I encourage you to pray through and think through the principles I’m offering to come up with your solutions or next steps.

Now if someone just asks for resources, I’ll answer that!

Let’s go!

Questions #1 – A difficult man I know…

Question – My husband and I are friends with a Christian man who is so set in his ways and I don’t know how to deal with him. I just completely disagree with him about several things, including matters of religion. When he says something that I honestly do not agree with, am I better off to continue keeping my mouth shut or are there some kind things that I can say to let him know that while I respect him, I do not agree? I feel like I’m being given opportunities to open his eyes a little bit and maybe soften his harden heart.

Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, when they see your respectful and pure conduct. Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious. “

1 Peter 3:1-4

Note: I realize this scripture is speaking to a different relationship than the once described in the question. But the principle we learn in this scripture applies beautifully.

Principle #1: We sometimes influence other people more through the words we don’t say than through the things we do say. A gentle and quiet spirit speaks volumes.

And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ.”

Philippians 1:6

Principle #2: I am not the Holy Spirit in another person’s life. But I can trust that if the Holy Spirit indwells a person, He is at work and will bring about the changes necessary to make that person more like Christ. That is not my job.

The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working.”

James 5:16b

Principle #3: We cannot change other people. But we can and should pray for other people. We will accomplish more eternal good on our knees than we ever will in front of another person’s face.

You also might want to check out this book, How to Deal with Difficult Relationships.

Question #2 – Resources about hope…

Question – I have a group of close friends, my Sea Sisters. Each year we go on a trip. We have devotions at some point each day. I’m being led to discuss HOPE. Do you have any suggestions of resources besides the Word of course?

I actually will answer this one. Ha! Yes, I suggest you check out June Hunt’s book, Hope: the Anchor for Your Soul. June is the host of the popular Hope for the Heart and Hope in the Night radio shows.

Question #3 – Resources for hurting parents…

Question – We are in a period of holding on to hope for our college age son who is being blinded by Satan. Do you have resources that you have seen help hurting parents of a child that is in a serious spiritual battle?

Rejoice always, 17 pray without ceasing, 18 give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.”

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

Principle #1 – We can continue to rejoice even when circumstances appear daunting because God is still in control.

Principle #2 – We can thank God for the struggles our loved ones go through because He is using those seasons to work for good in their lives, even if we can’t see how.

Principle #3 – But we must also continue to pray without ceasing.

I also suggest Stormie Omartian’s The Power of Praying for Your Adult Children and the accompanying Book of Prayers for Adult Children. You might also check out Jodie Berndt’s Praying the Scriptures for Your Adult Children, but I’ve not read the book myself.

Question #4 – Guilt over love of fashions…

Question – I enjoy fashion but sometimes feel guilty for doing so. I struggle with whether or not I am wasting precious time and promoting greed in my heart. Also, I like to purchase quality items and have the budget to do so occasionally, but I struggle when I see the desire to have what I have in the eyes of others who have much smaller budgets.  This burdens my heart. I also want to keep a tight wardrobe that still meets the needs of all occasions but realize I enjoy many pretty things and I often wonder what is too much. When I am struggling to decide what to wear between two or three really great choices I think maybe I have gone too far. Should I just have a capsule wardrobe? Does God care how much I have ?

My response: I totally get it! But in the end, all I can do is share the biblical principles that speak to me on this issue. I believe material wealth and how we use it is one of those issues that we must settle with our God and no one else (except our spouse, of course).

Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing?”

Matthew 6:25

Principle #1 – Life is more than what we eat, drink or wear. Obsession with or addiction to any of these consumptions is in opposition to God’s best for us.

And why are you anxious about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, 29 yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. 30 But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith?

Matthew 6:28-30

Principle #2 – God provides what we need, even in the area of clothing. So we must view our clothing as a resource provided by God and be good stewards of what we have been supplied.

Therefore do not be anxious, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32 For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all.

Matthew 6:31-32

Principle #3 – As Christ followers, our priorities should be noticeably different from those of the world. Why? Not because we do not want or enjoy those things, but because we have a heavenly Father who knows and provides those things.

But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.”

Matthew 6:33

Principle #4 – Ultimately God desires that we prioritize seeking Him and becoming more like Him over any other pursuit. And only God knows the affections of our hearts.

That’s it for today…

In an effort to keep this post from getting too long, I’m going to stop there for today. We’ll look at more reader questions in future Saturday posts. Did you like this format? Would you like to see something like this once a month or quarter? Let me know.

Here are the resources I mentioned in today’s post. I’ve also included my own books in this shopping widget because readers ask about them frequently.

Do you have thoughts you’d like to share about today’s topic? I’d love to hear from you today! I tend to take as much time off from work as I can during the weekends, so I may not reply to your comments unless you ask me a direct question. But I’d love for you to carry on this conversation in the comment section below. And you can know for certain that I read and value each and every comment. Please remember that I try to keep this space free from controversy, so let’s stay away from the topic of politics or other divisive issues.

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xoxo, Kay
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26 thoughts on “Inner Beauty Q + A

  1. I love this new idea! Each question posed spoke to me in some way. I appreciate the biblical references and the book suggestions too. Thank you.

  2. Very sorry to say that I’m unsubscribing. Too much religion – in almost every post. I’ve tried avoiding those parts but I think I’ll try to find another blog. I’m religious but have much different beliefs and I try to keep them to myself. Wondering why so many fashion bloggers are Christian and why they feel it necessary to include it in a FASHION blog? Hmmm, perhaps you should change the name?

    1. You should definitely continue posts like this one! Once a month, quarterly, or whenever you choose. This post was a great blessing! We all need the encouragement and the instruction rom God’s Word.

      Thank you,

    2. I like the name dressed for my day. It is personal (my) and reminds me what Ephesians 6:13 says. When I get dressed for the day I am “ to take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand.”

      I think Kay does a great job sharing where our real beauty and blessings comes from. There are a lot of different fashion blogs out there. I want to look good on the outside too. But the outside appearance isn’t worth much without inner beauty and humility. Her blog blends the best of both.

      1. Hi Ginger, from another Ginger! I totally agree with your comment. Our inner beauty is so very important and we need to het Him always shine through us. Have a blessed day! Is your birth name Ginger? Mine is, and I was actually named after Ginger Rogers.

      2. Kay, I love these posts and hope that you will continue them on a cycle that works for you. You see, for many reasons, but mostly due to Larry’s cancer battle, we are unable to attend church now. Our faith is very important to us. I need this Christian connection and teachings to help me feel part of a Christian community. I believe that if our inner self isn’t where it should be, no matter what fashion we wear, something will be off. Every aspect of our life is connected. Will you walk on the beach at least once, for me! ? Its another rainy day (snow in some parts) in GA, but the sun will shine tomorrow. God bless!

    3. Thanks for sharing and letting me know, Lisa. I appreciate your honesty. However, my blog has included a Christian devotional at the end of each post since the very first day and I’ve always intended for it to provide biblical encouragement as well as practical tips for fashion and beauty. So I am only being true to who I am. That said, I appreciate the time you have spent here and wish you all the best.

  3. Shabbat Shalom, Miss Kay! I so enjoy your posts and learn something from each one. Whether it is a new way to style something in my closet or a new (to me) take on a scripture or situation, you are a good teacher. P.S. I am wondering if you have been to Jungle Jim’s yet? When our oldest daughter lived in Ohio, JJ’s was their go-to grocery. It is definitely interesting.

  4. Personally I love this today! We can all probably see ourselves in all of those questions AND answers. Great format for using once a month!!

  5. I almost deleted this email today. I was thrown off by it as I was expecting fashion. Guess I needed this more today than I knew. I feel you wrote this today for me as I ordered 2 of the books. I would have never done so had I not opened the email. Thank you!!!

  6. Kay, thank you so much for this post! Every question and your response spoke to me in some way. It was a good way to start my Saturday ❤️

  7. Your blog has become my favorite, and I appreciate all the work that you put into it. Thank you for teaching me both about fashion and Christianity. I look forward to every post, especially on Saturdays.

  8. Loved the post today and every day. Please continue keeping Christ at the center. This makes you special, unique and relatable to me and many others. God bless your endeavors to bring others closer to Him.

  9. Thank you so much for the insight and the resources. Both are valuable to me in this season we are facing. Please press on with Biblical encouragement. You touch more than you know.

  10. Thanks for sharing YOUR insights on fashion and faith, with honesty and being true to yourself. Take care and enjoy your time with loved ones.

  11. Kay, these are great! I totally support you sharing God’s Word with us. It’s important for our inside to be just as pretty as we try to make our outside! Rhonda

  12. Thanks so much for this post! Never enough encouragement to get into the Word and seeking how to live by its principles.

  13. Well penned. Have fun with your parents. I loved the biblic references. Followed your blog ?

    I wrote a poem on inner beauty , Do let me know if you liked it 🙂

    1. Hi Sneha! Thanks so much for introducing yourself. It’s great to have you here. Thanks for reading. I enjoyed reading your poem. 🙂