It's so nice to meet you!
Get to know Kay...

Inner Beauty: How to Respond Instead of Reacting Harshly

October 7, 2020

Hi gals! No, it’s not Saturday. But every once in a while I like to share a little inner beauty insight on my YouTube Channel, too. So in today’s video I’m responding to a YouTube channel subscriber request and talking about how to respond instead of reacting.

How to Respond Instead of Reacting

I’m ashamed to admit how many times I’ve put great effort into my outfit, put on my lipstick and headed out the door feeling oh so lovely only to totally foul up my “appearance” later in the day by reacting poorly to some slight or another. Pretty is as pretty does. But my oh my, it sure is hard some days to respond well to the things thrown at us!

So today I’m sharing 6 steps that I’m taking to try to respond graciously rather than reacting poorly when things are said or done that don’t sit well with me. In fact, since making this video a few weeks ago, I’ve had to seriously take my own advice and apply each step in responding to hurtful criticisms that I’ve received, of all places, on YouTube.

Y’all! I get a hurtful comment or two occasionally right here on my blog, but nothing like the scathing remarks I’ve endured out there in YouTube land! ha! So I’ve been working through these steps and have indeed come up with (step #6) a plan so that I can consistently respond graciously to these hurtful remarks rather than reacting badly or, as I’m more likely to do, internalizing it and stuffing it.

What About You?

Is anyone pushing your buttons? I hope today’s video helps you feel more equipped to face the harsh words, thoughtless comments and snide remarks you may face occasionally, too.

By the way, today’s video is not meant to endorse enduring abuse. If you are encountering verbal or other abuse, the correct course is to remove yourself from the situation and reach out for help.

But most of us, while occasionally feeling the stinging affects of hurtful words, are not enduring verbal abuse. We’re just getting our feelings hurt. And that’s when it’s important to respond assertively and confidently, but also graciously. I hope today’s video helps you in that way.

Watch the Video

If the video player does not load for some reason, you can watch the video HERE.

I’d love for you to share with me, either on my YouTube channel or here, your three words that you would like to characterize your interactions with other people. But before you go, let’s get you that free graphic I promised. You can download this graphic on your device. But you also might want to take a screen shot of it on your phone for easy access when you’re walking into volatile situations.

How to Respond Screen Shot
Right click and follow the directions on your device to download. You can also pin this image to your Pinterest boards.

Do you have thoughts you’d like to share about today’s topic? I’d love to hear from you. Let’s just keep it gracious! LOL!

What I’m Wearing

You’ll find the links to what I’m wearing in the caption of the photo below.

how to Respond Instead of Reacting
What I’m wearing: sweater (wearing a small) // necklace is old and borrowed // earrings // bracelets

Don’t Miss a Post:

If you like what you’re seeing here at Dressed for My Day, I invite you to subscribe to my email list. You can receive an email each time I post (about 6 times weekly) or just on Saturdays. You choose! But you’ll also receive the password to open up all the subscriber freebies I offer.

Blessed for My Day

I thought today might be a good day to diverge from our little BFMD series of red letter words for this reminder from Paul. Sometimes I know better, but I feel like my scathing, sarcastic or vindictive words are suitable to the situation. Yes, sometimes I just feel completely justified in biting back. You, too?

But the Bible reminds me over and over that my words are more powerful than I know. James says that our tongues have the power of a forest fire, blazing a path of destruction with just the tiniest irretrievable spark. That’s why it really does matter how we respond to other people and life in general throughout our days. Let’s walk carefully through this day, choosing to respond graciously and respectfully to each person we encounter.

Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification according to the need of the moment, so that it will give grace to those who hear. ~ Ephesians 4:29

Spread the love
xoxo, Kay
Join the Conversation

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

15 thoughts on “Inner Beauty: How to Respond Instead of Reacting Harshly

  1. I so needed this today!! Got up this morning at 5:30 saw one text and was about to let it ruin my day. So your thoughts this morning were meant just for me. A great reminder that life is not all about me! Thanks so much for your ministry.

  2. Remember the bubble bath commercial “Calgon, take me away”? This may sound weird Kay, but you are my “Calgon”. You calm me and bring levity to my day. In a world of so much chaos and discord, you bring me comfort and joy. Whether it’s your fashion posts or your videos like the one you shared today, I can take a few moments and just smile, relax and reflect. So many times I have an “ah ha” moment when the light bulb goes off. I am so thankful I found you, and follow you, on social media.

  3. Loved today’s video. I work with a lot of people that like to create drama. My response is always” let’s talk about this tomorrow, after we calm down”. Things usually look different the next day when cooler heads prevail. I try very hard to always act not react. Don’t always succeed but I do try!

  4. Love, Love, Love this video! In a time where we all seem so divided these reminders are a great tool to respond to certain comments or people. Thank you for your helpful, insightful words of wisdom. God Bless!

    1. I am so sorry you have been hit with hurtful criticism. I appreciate all you do to help us dress for our day. While our styles don’t sometimes mesh, you give me many ideas and encourage me to be more creative. Most of all, I love your joyful attitude.

  5. Excellent Kay, thank you! Sometimes I forget that my actions and words are actually my testimony. I so want our Father to be pleased with my life, and this is a great tool to help me along that path! Blessings as you go!

  6. Kay, this is a wonderful post! Very well thought out and great advice on working on our inner woman, which we all need. “Pretty is as pretty does,” is something my Southern mama always said to me and I saw that reflected in her actions. I have not always responded to others as I would like, but we all have things we need to work on. The most pleasant women I have ever been around were gracious and careful about what they said and were a pleasure to be with; I want to be that woman too. I’m sorry that people today feel free to speak harshly via the internet to you, but probably would never speak that way with you face-to-face, how cowardly! Keep up the good work of encouragement and exhortation, dear lady. You are lovely inside and out.

  7. Great piece today you are such a through woman. Meaning you think of all aspects that make our being. So glad to get these wise words and thoughts. My mantra is Smile, Pause then Speak I love your suggestions too. So happy to have found your thread. I love the ladies who respond too!?

  8. Hello Kay….just when I think I’ve seen your best video, well here goes another great one!

    3 words you want characterize your interactions with others;
    1) Humble
    2) Listener
    3) Patient
    I will work on these as your video has made me more aware and I know this is what God is calling us all to do.


  9. Kay,
    This was wonderful to hear! It seems in these difficult times, my buttons are getting pushed more. And your tips are not only timely but so helpful . Thank you so much.

  10. Thank you, this video was a blessing after my day today. It was just in sync with what I needed. Though I do love your fashion updates and knowledge, these posts on how to be gracious are regularly needed. I am very thankful that I came across your website and blog. Reading and listening to your advice and shared experience is like having an ideal friend that listens and offers great unbiased advice!
    If I can offer a thought for you….., there are unfortunately people who find satisfaction in trolling you tube and other sites just for the purpose of conflict and criticism- as you obviously have expreienced. It is sad that they feel the need to do that, and that they can only see and share bitterness. On social media, there may just be no need or appropriate way to respond, as it is a virtual digital contact that may thrive and feed from on line conflict, and not a person in your presence who could benefit from your graceful response.

  11. Thank you for this. I just found you on Pinterest the other day and am a big fan already, maybe because #1 you are a Christian #2 your choice of styles are so like mine and # 3 (probably a silly reason but) my maiden name is Harms.
    Grace is my word for dealing with difficult people. I try to
    give grace because what I give to others will be a minute bit of what I have been given – of what our precious Lord gives me everyday.

  12. Thank you, Kay! I have been working on this very thing, praying for some ideal on how to respond in a better way. I want to be more Christ-like with my reactions toward a certain person in my life. We seem to be on that script you described and can’t get off. I appreciate all you said. Thank you so much.