I’ve heard it said that our character is what comes out of us when we’re bumped up against. Most of us can pull our act together and present ourselves in a polished manner when we know what to expect. But when plans are changed or life takes a sudden turn, it can sometimes feel like an unwelcomed intruder. Some of those changes come quickly, others happen more gradually. But change is definitely a revealer of true character. That’s why I think a truly beautiful woman is one who navigates change with grace.
Let’s talk about change…
Whether we initiated and sought out a change or it sneaked up and knocked the wind out of us, adjusting to change is hard for many of us. Even the shifting of seasons is bittersweet for those of us who love one more than the others. “Going with the flow” is one thing when you’re leisurely kayaking down a gentle river, but it’s completely different when you feel like life as you knew it has suddenly disappeared.
Are you working through a change in life right now? Was it welcomed or has it been forced upon you? Have you had time to process it or was it sudden and overwhelming?
Whether life is in the process of changing around you or you know things could be different any day now, I have just a few thoughts on how we might navigate changes in life with grace.
- Be patient with yourself. Change is hard. No, I mean it’s really hard. Know that when you have to say goodbye to a loved one, move to a new place, start a new job, leave a career you loved, downsize or bury a beloved pet…you’re doing something really difficult. So give yourself a little grace. Don’t beat yourself up for feeling sad, tired, overwhelmed, uncertain or frustrated. These are normal emotions.
- Be courageous. Yes, change is hard. But you were created to be able to do hard things. Not alone, mind you. I believe we need God to help us navigate change well. And we also need other people. But you can do this. You are stronger than you think. And you can do hard things. Maybe you needed to hear this above all else today.
- Express your emotions calmly and ask for support. I find that big emotions are sometimes the hardest to express. I’m afraid if I open my mouth and start talking they may spew like a torrent. But I think it’s important that I try to communicate clearly to at least one or two people in my life that I’m going through something hard so they can pray for me, support me and offer me a little grace, too.
- Don’t sweat the small stuff. If you’re going through a big change in life, you may need to let go of a few of the little things in life temporarily. Even little things that you enjoy may need to be put on hold for a season so that you can get your bearings in your new normal. That’s perfectly okay. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. On the other hand, think about the parts of your life that help provide stability. DO continue to do or be a part of those. They could be as simple as making your bed each morning, going for that daily walk or caring for your pets. Or those sources of security and strength could also include meeting up with friends for a weekly coffee date, attending your weekly worship services and reading your Bible daily.
- Let gratitude shape your attitude. I find it so helpful to turn my longings for the past into thankfulness for what used to be. While it’s counterproductive to cling to what was, it’s quite productive to feel grateful for what I had and to trust that what I may have lost will either be substituted with something else or I’ll learn, by God’s grace, to be content without it.
- Look for the new blessings. If we gaze back too long we may miss the good that is going on around us. Train yourself to look for the fresh blessings in your new situation. They’re there, I promise. You might want to write down in a journal three new blessings for which you are grateful each evening.
I hope these few tips and points have been an encouragement to you today. And I hope they’ve given you something to think about. However, I encourage you to go beyond thinking about them. Actually put one or two of them into practice today…especially if you are experiencing a change in your life today.
That is how we become truly beautiful women, by putting into practice the good we know to do. Learning some coping skills that help you navigate change with grace will give you a beauty that doesn’t fade with age. In fact, as you practice these skills with each eventual change, you’ll become more and more becoming to the people who are watching you do something so challenging. It won’t be easy, but your behavior, words and attitude will make a lasting difference in the lives of others. And that is truly beautiful.
If you’re going through a change that has left you heartbroken, I’d like to suggest my Bible study, Joseph – Keeping a Soft Heart in a Hard Place. This in-depth 7-week Bible study explores the life of Joseph (son of Jacob) in Genesis 37-50. I wrote this study after struggling through a very difficult and painful change in my own life. Many women have said that it has helped them through painful seasons.
Do you have thoughts you’d like to share about today’s topic? I’d love to hear from you in the comment feed. Just click on JOIN THE CONVERSATION below to leave a comment. Please remember that I try to keep this space free from controversy, so let’s stay away from the topic of politics or other divisive issues. I may not respond to your comment; I’ve said my piece and now it’s your turn.
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Today’s post is part of the 2025 blog series, a Beauty that Doesn’t Fade with Age. You can find all of the blog posts in this series through the tab in the top menu that reads, 2025 INNER BEAUTY SERIES. You may also enjoy our 2025 style series, Styling the Classics for the Modern Woman.
{James took the photos in today’s post during our fall 2024 trip to the Finger Lakes region of New York.}
Blessed for My Day
If you’d like to explore some scriptures that will help you to navigate change with grace, I suggest the following:
- Hebrews 13:8
- Numbers 23:19
- Psalm 103:19
- Deuteronomy 7:9
- Psalm 23:6
- Psalm 94:18
- Lamentations 3:22-23
- Isaiah 43:18-19
And I’ll leave you with this favorite today.
But now, this is what the Lord says, He who is your Creator, Jacob,
And He who formed you, Israel:
“Do not fear, for I have redeemed you;
I have called you by name; you are Mine!
When you pass through the waters, I will be with you;
And through the rivers, they will not overflow you.
When you walk through the fire, you will not be scorched,
Nor will the flame burn you.
For I am the Lord your God,
The Holy One of Israel, your Savior ~ Isaiah 43:1-3a
I’m so glad to see these posts again Kay! This one is especially meaningful to me as I am anticipating a major change in my life in the near future. Preparing for that change has definitely been stressful and an emotional roller coaster. I’m going to save this to read over and over as I navigate this time. Sometimes we get bombarded with “advice” from well-meaning people (who among us hasn’t thought that we know the best way for everyone to live their life, right?), so I like your point about seeking out one or two people who will pray for you when the going gets rough. I pray every day for God’s guidance in this season of life and for me to clearly see where He would have me and what I should be doing when I get there. This was much needed today, thank you!
Thank you for this beautiful post today, Kay! I too am going to save it to return to when necessary. Life is full of changes! I am so thankful we have a God who walks with us and gives up strength and peace! Enjoy your family! ?
What a wonderful, helpful post today, Kay. It was a blessing to me. Thank you.
Thank you for this post! It was a great blessing to me! Enjoy your weekend!
God bless you,
Suzanne
I’m so pleased you have resumed your Inner Beauty posts. Truly they are so meaningful and helpful to me. I ordered the book you mentioned, sadly, it is out of stock at the moment. I do hope it restocks quickly. I so look forward to every post on your blog.
This post is spot on. Change is hard for me. Thank you.
This was so helpful, Kay. I lost my husband last year of 38 years.. My children are grown and recently my elderly mom moved in. She doesn’t see well and we are helping each other. I have turned to Isaiah 41 so many times. My church and Bible study ladies have been so supportive along with my 32 year old daughter. God has filled me with His love and comfort.
Thank you.
As I was reading your first entry in this new project, it felt like I was holding a beautiful devotional book (inspiring photos and all!) And I can truly envision this forthcoming! So hang on to all these writings and perhaps you already have a publisher you could contact! But I foresee a beautiful devotional book on the horizon!! You have such wisdom! And God has given you (perhaps thru your own journey) an ability to write in such a way that it feels like “you know me”…. you know exactly what I’m dealing with! And then you speak into that with your honed wisdom!! Expect change yourself, is what I’m foreseeing! It feels like God is moving you! Thank you for your obedience in following….. because we reap from it all!
Happy New Year!
I was grateful for your thoughtful writing about change this morning. James’ pictures were beautiful and inspirational. Thants for including the credit and location.
Thank you Kay. I needed that this morning. We are in the process of downsizing and moving. James pictures are beautiful and are a nice addition to your post. I knew I recognized them since I live an hour from the fingerlakes region.
Beautiful post today and very beautiful photo by your beloved James
How timely. I want to move to a senior living facility in a large city near where our son lives. My husband absolutely does not want to leave our small town and beautiful home. He hates change. I’ll be sharing this with him. The photos are really beautiful. Thank you.
Thank you for this beautiful, inspirational post. James’s photos are amazing. Thank you for both this morning.
Thank you so much for sharing your beautiful essay on change. I’ll keep it in mind for when I need it, and to reflect on past changes. I lived in Ithaca for 1t5 years and loved it. James’ photos are absolutely beautiful, thank you and him for sharing them.
Can you recommend a new Bible that is not too expensive?
Kay, I always loved sitting under you as a Bible Study and Sunday School teacher. I am thankful you added this to your blog. Love, Lezlee.
I love this! Well done Kay. Your words are just what I needed today and are prefect for me to share with a friend who is going through a big chance. Thank you. I am very excited for this series.
Kay, I enjoyed this post so much. I also try to be thankful for what WAS and look for NEW blessings in my changes. As I get older I feel like this will be more and more helpful 😊. I loved the pictures from Watkins Glen. I have done that “hike” but never in the Fall — it’s gorgeous 🍂
Thank you for the wonderful and uplifting reflections on navigating change with grace. I will read and re- read this many times and share it with others. I’m thankful, too, to have the Scripture references you included. Blessings to you and James
Beautifull article today and love the pictures that James took. Always enjoy your BFMD. I look forward to your fashion blogs the most though, that is why I started reading your blog 4 years ago now, I am so glad to see your video every Wednesday, so glad to hear that this new series will be every other Monday, seems like the best of both topics. You truly do inspire us.
Kay I’m enjoying your inner beauty series. Good points to reflect and act on. While from a simpler source two lines from the Peanuts comic stripe have guided me through the years. 1. When you are through changing you are through 2. Don’t be a leaf be a tree. Also enjoying James photography I recognized today pictures at Taughannock and Treman Parks and maybe the willows at Stewart Park. Thank you
This is so helpful-thank you!
This is a wonderful post and such a great addition to what you do every day
James photos are absolutely gorgeous
Thank you
Very good thoughts. I have been through many hard things in life. One thing that helped me was reading biographies of missionaries who went through worse things. Somehow knowing others had it worse and were brave and got through it helped me. Knowing God is with me was a lifesaver. I will look at the verses you listed. Thank you, Kay.
Very beautiful photos!
Good morning Kay! I am deeply appreciating today’s blog subject on change. I hadnt recognized how much I needed to read and embrace these awarenesses! My husband and I moved to Asheville in the middle of the summer. Hurricane Helene has changed my expectations in so many ways. The people here are sooo impressive with their kindness and resilience and the outpouring of the same from those who came to help and still do. I now look at life almost with the expectation of change and have daily gratitude for what the day has offered to me. Thank you for this new season with Dressed For My Day! And the beautiful photos!
Thanks, Kay. I needed this post today.
This message was a blessing to me today. The words and pictures touched me deeply.
I really needed this today. We had to let our beloved dog go last Friday. We had him for 14 years. He was an unofficial therapy dog, loyal friend, and devoted companion. I am trying to be grateful for having the 14 years we had him. I know I will get through this pain with God’s grace. Thank you for the timely post!
Thank you so much for this post today. I have felt like a drowning person not knowing where a life jacket was to grab onto. Reading this post today was exactly what I needed. Thank you Kay, from the bottom of my heart!
I just want to take a moment to thank your husband for those gorgeous very professional photographs. Breathtaking. I paused just to relax into them!
What stunning photos! Tell James he does awesome work and I loved each one! 🤩 I truly needed this post today. My life is set to chance soon and my nerves are all over the place. Not only with my work but eventually moving across country to be near our son. Will reread this a few times I am sure and take guidance from it. Thank you Kay
I loved and took heart your “turn your gratitude into your attitude “ sentiment. Topical since my husband and I were just discussing plans for the next 2 years and how we can positively affect those we meet in our travels.
I wrestled with loneliness following my first husbands death. So much so I found myself running ahead of God to find someone. The lessons I learned about God’s grace, love and care reinforced my faith 20 fold. I have moved on and God brought a very loving, God fearing man into my life. We have been married for 4 years and we know who is in charge I also thank multiple friends snd family who helped me get through this time.
Thank you for this series, our beauty starts from within, no matter how beautiful we may be in the outside.
Thank you for this post. So timely, as change is always a part of our lives. Your suggestions and advice is greatly appreciated, especially those based on God’s Word.
Thank you 💕. This is beautiful and a wonderful start for the new year
Kay
Love the new series and beautiful photos. Thank you for all your ministry, you are a blessing
This a beautiful much needed message for any age person. As a 71 year old Christian lady, I have learned so much and my faith has been encouraged and strengthened from watching, listening and praying for people dealing with tremendous life changes. We never know what affect we have on others through our LORD.
Blessings,
Ann
Beautiful post. You’re such a good writer. I’m going to save it for when I need it. I love the photos too. I’m going to start writing what I’m grateful for like you suggest. I gave my friend who’s going through a lot a plaque with that Isaiah quote. I have it on my wall too.
I’m loving seeing your husbands photos!
Thank you…loved it ❤️
I loved this blog today. And all the pictures are wonderful. I know your husband took all of them. That was a really beautiful place. And you gave some great advice.
Beautiful words of wisdom on how to navigate change and how hard it really is! Thank you for sharing with us and for the beautiful pictures that your husband took! What a blessing!
Ahh. What a beautiful and appropriate first post in this series! It was a very tough change that had me searching for a way out of a very deep hole that was caving in on me and God leading me to find you. You were a part of healing and recovering from that dark time, and you have helped me through a few more changes since then. Thank you for being you, and thank you for God’s light you allow him to use you to shine on all of us! I will be looking forward to these posts on making our insides beautiful through God’s word, as well as the ones that encourage us to keep the outsides beautiful!
Thank you for this series. What we are on the inside is so much more important than the external. And thank you for pointing to the One who enables the change. I look forward to your posts!
Very good observations and beautiful photos. It can feel very unfair to have situations we don’t want and can’t really change happen to us – as the old joke/saying goes, God never gives us more than we can handle, but why does he have to “trust us” so much?!? And it can be hard to trust Him sometimes, when we can’t see the reason for something or wish He would change things for us, and it doesn’t happen as we wish it would. We have to treat ourselves as God’s beloved children and give ourselves space and grace while we go through change.
Kay, can you share where you were when James took those incredible photos? They added such a sense of serenity to your heartfelt and helpful words. Thanks!
Yes, as I mentioned at the end of the post we were in the Finger Lakes region of New York. They were taken in various gorges there. You’ll find similar beautiful spots throughout the area. These were Rainbow Falls in Watkins Glenn State Park, Taughannock Falls State Park and Robert H Treman State Park.
I would loved to knoW where the photos were of the water falls. We enjoy hiking and may try to go there. They were breathtaking!
Kay,
I love this post. It’s such a nice break from the clothing ideas. I find I have too much stuff now,…. Do I need more…if I’m honest, that answer is no.
This post I will come back to again
What a beautifully written piece. The added photography from James is stunning. The colors so vibrant. He too is so talented. Thank you for this post. With my stage in life, going through late, hard menopause and my husband just retiring from the Fire Service for 49 yrs. this last Dec. 31st, I feel I’m navigating some change for sure and I don’t always feel I do it with Grace. As all woman know when we go through the change of life we don’t feel ourselves and many things are happening to our bodies and I want to embrace this new season with my husband home now and what is next for us, but change can be scary. I am so grateful for the Lord and how He has always been there and will be now too. Thank you for the timely post.
I’m going through a huge change in my life. It’s a difficult change as well. Thank you for this. Also thank you for telling us where James took these pictures! They are outstanding! I was a little distracted as I read and looked at the pictures and wondered where they were taken and hoped at some point you were going to tell us. From now on I won’t be so distracted knowing the secret is at the end.
Kay, this post was life-giving. I read the section on turning your longings into thankfulness to my husband and we were both blown away. You have managed to explain Philippians 4:4-9 in a new way. In the past six months one of us was “retired” before we were ready, our youngest child left the nest and we are downsizing. This post came at the perfect time.
Oh, Kay. You are just lovely. I enjoy and am blessed by everything you do! Skin care, hair products, fashion, and the spiritual things.
I would have never guessed you had been through a hard and painful thing. I am as well…..here at 73 years old. Great strife between my two married sons who have always been so close. So unnecessary. We know Jesus.
What a beautiful post Kay. Thank you. It’s so good to be reminded of these truths. I checked out your bible study and I hope to order it soon.
Your website has a different look and I really like it. God bless you in the new year
Thank you so much for your words of wisdom and James beautiful and calming photos. I have been attending a church 30 years in which my so-in-law was one of the pastors. Now my son-in-law and daughter are starting a branch of the same church in the same town. I will be attending there, starting this Sunday.
There is excitement but a feeling of loss also. I know this is of the Lord so I will surrender all my sorrow and cares to him. God bless both of you.
The Joseph study was stellar!!!! I kept the book after the study. I learned things I didn’t know before and it helped me navigate some tough situations with grace.
There are some hard things in life but how we navigate passing them can break us, take us, or make us. I’m glad to be on the other side, navigating beyond them.
Ahh, thanks so much for sharing that Nancy. I’m so glad the study was helpful. It was a work of love for me. It was a hard season when I wrote it, but God has given me complete healing from it. Truly a miracle! And I’m so pleased to hear that my hard time resulted in something that helped others through their difficult seasons, too.
James’ photos are absolutely gorgeous, and go so well with the topic. You two are gifted with creativity, and have been given the ability to see and capture the beauty that God has provided in nature and you, Kay, in fashion. I’ll bet you make a great pair. Thanks for this series. I can tell I’m going to enjoy it.
I enjoyed reading this on change. Even small changes in our lives can lead to sorrow, gladness, irritability etc It helps to talk with close friends, family or church family in these times to throw a life support line our way in this challenging situation. Thanks for the scripture readings!
Thank you for these tips and ideas for navigating change.
I am experiencing some health issues at present and didn’t know how to cope.
I use your blog and You tube videos for style and fashion ideas and I am going to use these words to manage my health issues with medical and family help also
Many thanks regards Gloria
I have enjoyed your blogs and videos for a while now. This new series is definitely taking it to the next level for me. I absolutely love the Age with Grace. Thank you for sharing your insights. I am looking forward to joining the conversation. Thank you!
Thank you for this post.. lots of good advise!
I always liked the Mark Twain quote, “the only one who likes change is a baby with a dirty diaper.” I’m so grateful that God has given me the strength and courage to go through some difficult changes.
I forgot to say thank you for including James’ pictures-they are beautiful!