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Coffee Time with Kay – December 1, 2018

Coffee Time with Kay
December 1, 2018

Coffee Time with Kay

Good morning! Can you believe it’s December 1st?!? Wow! This year has absolutely flown by.

Especially since I started this style blog back in March, the days have just whizzed by. I’m used to being busy and engaged in some kind of writing project, but this blog has been a very unique beast! I’m thoroughly enjoying it and I’m determined to really work it, but it keeps me much busier and tied down than I had originally estimated.

Well, enough of that. I have something I’d like to share with you today of a more personal nature. I try to really pay attention to my readers and by this point I have a pretty good idea who you gals are. Not that you’re paper dolls all cut out of the same mold, by any means. I know you are unique and beautiful women, and I value the different things you all bring to the table.

But I’ve come to realize that many of you are in the same life stage as I am. Many, but not all, of you are either empty nesters or quickly approaching that phase. And even if you never had children, as I know some of you didn’t, life has changed very much for you in recent years. Perhaps you’ve tied a bow on your career and retired. Or maybe your husband has retired and you’re adjusting to having him in the home more. And, like me, maybe many of you have watched your kids move on both physically and emotionally.

Those are some tough changes, huh. I mean, they’re good. They’re natural and right and even biblical. But they’re just hard to stomach…on certain days…or dark nights…when the house feels different and the routines have changed and the memories feel fuller and weightier and more significant than the present. Know what I mean?

So what’s on my mind is the adjustments that have been required of me…and you. I’ve struggled some days with contentment. And I hate that because I felt like I worked hard through my 30s and 40s to become a contented woman. Ha! You know how I mean. Right? When you’re in your 20s you’re rarely very content. The grass looks greener anywhere and everywhere. And then in your 30s and 40s the temptation to look around and compare looms large and pulls at you constantly.

And then somewhere around your late 40s or so you realize, hey, I’m an okay gal. And life is good. And you quit comparing quite so much and you grow a little happier deep inside. You decide you don’t have to do or participate in every little fad that comes along. Like, thank you, but no, I will not go sky-diving. Or some of you have said, uh, no, I will not participate in Facebook. And some of you have said, no, I will not color my hair.

I mean you just finally get a back bone!! And you’re just…good. Things are good.

But y’all. These empty nest years are a big adjustment. And it’s not just the kids being gone. It’s the health and body changes. The dynamics of your marriage. The quiet house. That older woman in the mirror! The way other people treat you…like you’re older. Huh. It’s the way you get tired faster. And yet you don’t sleep as well. What in the world?!

Honestly, now that I’ve sat down and typed all this out, I realize I’m just ranting a little. I have no solutions to offer you or even any great revelations.

I’m just letting you know that while there may be a smiling face on this blog most days, there’s a normal woman with normal issues on the other side of the screen. I don’t sleep great most nights. Something different hurts most every day. And then it doesn’t anymore. What’s with that? My hair is thinning. My appetite is changing. My heart gets a little lonely for my kids. Some days I feel very lonely and isolated and different. And other days I feel very engaged and full and understood.

So I just wanted to take this Coffee Time today to let you know those things.

When I was in college I used to break the stress and take a breather by going to the library, venturing down to the basement. That was where they kept all the magazines. Racks and racks of magazines. I loved magazines. I still love magazines. At one time I became obsessed with old magazines. I spent hours culling through McCall’s from the 1920s and 1930s.

That’s kind of how I see Dressed for My Day. I want it to be that magazine that gives you a breather, an opportunity to escape or just pamper yourself or just reset. I don’t pretend that this is life-changing stuff here. So if you’re ever reading one of my fashion posts and it sounds like I’m thinking this is rocket science, ha! Just know that I’m trying to be professional and provide you a polished product, but at the end of the day…it’s just a magazine.

We may just look at some pretty clothes or swap beauty product favorites or urge each other to get out there and exercise, and that’s okay. Honestly, that’s how I like it here on Dressed for My Day most days. But that doesn’t make us shallow or silly women. That means we’re serious, smart, capable and accomplished women taking a break from the challenges of life…to look at pretty clothes. And you don’t have to go to the library basement.

Have a great weekend gals!

I have two new Christmas 2018 Gift Guides up today! Yay! Speaking of being empty nesters, these are gift guides for our children! I have a Gift Guide for Your Young Men and a Gift Guide for Your Young Women. These are lists largely created with tips from my two grown kids. But I also just found other things out there that I know they’ll like. I bet your kids will, too.

Remember, you can always find these in the Christmas 2018 Gift Guides tab at the top of my blog. You can also access them both below.

Christmas Gift Guide for Young Men

Christmas Gift Guide Young Men Cover

Christmas Gift Guide for Young Women

Christmas 2018 Gift Guide for Young Women

Blessed for Your Day

Here’s one thing I do know about getting older: We’re never too old to learn more about Jesus and to grow in the depth of our relationship with Him. As we begin the last month of this year and journey quickly toward 2019, it’s a good time to begin thinking about goals for the new year. What are some ways you can spend a little more time with the Lord this next year? I mean, let’s face it, we have at least a little more time to ourselves than we use to. I realize it gets taken up somewhere, but we should be able to find a little more time for a Bible study or scripture memorization or reading through the Bible. Today let’s begin thinking and praying about how we’ll grow in the Lord in 2019.

but grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. To Him be the glory, both now and to the day of eternity. Amen. ~ 2 Peter 3:18

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xoxo, Kay
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18 thoughts on “Coffee Time with Kay – December 1, 2018

  1. Kay, your post certainly hit a chord with me today. We have so much in common. I am a follower of Jesus, an empty-nester, and my style is classic with a modern twist while remaining modest. I am about a decade older, having turned 60 in September. I realize my time on this earth is limited and it leaves me longing to have an impact for good in the world. My daughter has 9 children and since they lived 3-4 miles away, I was very involved in their lives. They recently moved to the country with a larger home and acreage, which was their dream. While I am thrilled for them, they are just far enough away that I no longer can be as involved in their lives as I once was. I struggled with depression at first, but I am naturally a positive person and know God is good and count my blessings. I read your blog not only for the fun of fashion and learning more about what to wear, but for your encouragement in living life as a believer. Thank you for all of your hard work. I appreciate you so much

    1. He, he! You’re not a decade older…only five years!

      Thanks so much for sharing your reflections on the empty nest. I’m really a little envious of women who have their kids close to home. But then again, I talk to mine regularly and enjoy knowing that they are happy.

      I’m so glad you enjoy the blog and the blessings. Thanks for reading and commenting!! 🙂

  2. I’m older than dirt…..turned 77 last Oct. but that doesn’t mean I don’t enjoy you, your blog, fashion and your awesome advice on just about everything! The Lord has blessed you with many gifts and you use them well. I don’t feel old nor do I act old. I’ve been blessed with good genes, a loving husband and 2 wonderful children (who btw…are in their 50’s now)!!! Ack!!! How did THAT happen?? I guess I’m just saying….thanks for being there everyday, for all of your hard work on putting a blog together, keeping it fresh and new and loving the Lord every step of the way! HE shines through you!!

    1. Ha! Older than dirt! I don’t think so… But I’m so glad to hear that you don’t feel even that old. I’m determined to stay engaged and active. And some days that means I really have to push myself. But I’ve watched some women just stop. They just stop. Stop socializing, stop serving at church, stop exercising, just stop. And they’re not old!!! But my mom is 83 and she has not stopped at all. She exercises, serves people in her church and community, hosts people in her home and keeps learning and growing. She’s been a great example to me. And I know that is such a blessing.

      Thanks so much for commenting today. And for reading regularly. 🙂

  3. Kay, I enjoyed your post today. I am now retired but while in college, I would treat myself at weeks end, by spending an hour or so at the grocery store reading home magazines! I couldn’t afford to buy them and our library was a medical library, and didn’t carry my beloved home magazines! It was a true break from the stress of studying and tests. I also want to share with you and your other readers about a Bible app I have been using. It’s from the Bible Project people and the name of the app is “Read Scripture “. It guides you through reading the Bible in one year. It has videos along the way that explain different points, including structure of each book and the Bible as a whole. I was doing the daily readings for a few months when the Lord suggested that I could do two (or more) a day since I’m retired. I completed the Bible once, (I started the app on 1/2/2018) and now I have almost completed the Old Testament for the second go around. What I have learned during this time has been amazing! This experience has drawn me closer to the Lord! I look forward each day to spending more time in His word. This second time through, I’m watching the videos and using the schedule as a guide, but reading a different translation. We travel a lot, but with this app, it’s so simple to stay on schedule. I highly recommend this app. It’s free, but you can make a donation to the Bible Project if you feel led to do so. ?

    1. Karen, that app sounds amazing. I’m definitely going to check it out. In fact, I very well may use it this year. I use the First 5 app each morning for my quiet time, and it has us going through the Bible one chapter (usually) at a time over a 4-year period, I think it is. I’ve read the Bible through a few times, but I need to do it again. So I’ll definitely check out the Read Scripture app. Thanks so much for sharing!! 🙂

  4. Kay, I so enjoy your blog. I too am an empty nester and have never put much thought into my style but now that I’m older I don’t want ,my style to be older than I am so I’m paying more attention. What I absolutely love the most is the blessed for my day. I too am a believer and struggle with some of the very things you address. I think we all do. You have a beautiful way with words and your genuineness shines through. Thank you for keeping the worldiness of fashion in perspective. I know it’s important to how we feel and perceive ourselves so it has its place, but true beauty comes from within. ?

    1. I’m so glad you enjoy the daily blessings, Barbara. I forgot to do one once,and I felt so bad afterwards! I’m glad to know they resonate with you gals. 🙂

  5. Thank you for being the “magazine” that lets me take a breather! I’m in a similar phase of life as you and it’s always good to read/hear of other women of like stages.

    1. Ha, ha! Yes, we all need a breather now and again. And I really appreciate hearing from you gals, too. Thanks so much for reading! 🙂

  6. Kay, so enjoyed your post today. Yes, all these changes are part of life but it certainly doesn’t make things any easier. Although I have enjoyed my kids at every age, how neat would it be to go back and spend one day with them when they only 6! A push on the swing, melting ice cream cone, the things only a mother could cherish.. Thankfully our God is the same today, yesterday and forever! You are a blessing!

    1. Yes, I’ve thought about how I’d like to go back for one day…with the perspective I have now. I think I would have been a lot more “chill” about the little things, you know? Thanks so much for commenting today, and for your sweet words! 🙂

  7. Loved your sincerity in your post today. I’m 70 but I still enjoy fashion and follow several blogs but yours is the one I look forward to the most. I have a good relationship with both my son and daughter but don’t feel as close to them as I would like. My son isn’t married and travels a lot and I do understand. My daughter and husband and three grandsons live 5 hours away so we’re not as involved in their lives as I would like. I’ve started growing out my gray and every time I look in the mirror i look so old ?. I’m still in good health but everything from my waist down aches. Just wanted you to know your blog is the bright spot in my day and I hope you feel the ❤️. I too love Jesus and I’m going to check out the app Karen mentioned. Think it’s something I need. Keep up the good work. ?

    1. You’re so kind, Wanda. Thank you so much for that sweet affirmation. I think that app sounds amazing, too. I’m going to look into it. I’m planning on doing a post about how to keep New Year’s resolutions, and this sounds like a great aide. Thanks for being such a blessing!

  8. Kay, thank you for what you said here today. I am at the stage you describe. I am still working, so that keeps me busy, more busy than I would like to be sometimes, and yet at times I feel that loneliness you talk about and experience a house that is too quiet. It is hard for mothers who once had the hustle and bustle of children at home and the sound of their laughter! I have three grandchildren and enjoy them immensely, but they are here for a short period of time and then are gone to their homes. I particularly notice that quiet ache when I go to bed, so most often I look at magazines for relaxation for a few minutes ( I know what you are talking about with magazines!), but just this week I started reading a chapter or two in the Bible before sleep. Being reminded of God’s love and promises is calming and soothing. My dear husband is snoring gently on the other side of the bed. I am so grateful for his presence at this stage in my life, as I always have been, but I think it takes another woman to truly understand the female perspective and emotions that come with being 50+.

    1. Hi Debbie, Thanks so much for commenting today. I’ve been reading all the comments today and really enjoying them. I just couldn’t reply at the time, but I’ve felt like I was in a day-long conversation with you gals! Yes, we definitely need our girlfriends. I appreciate my husband now more than ever, too. But I need to bounce things off other women occasionally. Thanks for reading Dressed for My Day!

  9. So much I can relate to in this post. Thanks for helping me feel like I’m not alone in this mid-life trip I’m taking. 🙂 And speaking of magazines, I recently received the winter edition of Chip and Joanna Gaines’ journal, but am holding out as long as I can before I read it. There’s just something about curling up on the couch on a wintry Saturday morning with a cup of tea and a pretty magazine.