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Are You Easily Offended?

October 17, 2020
on Saturdays we talk about Inner Beauty

Happy weekend, dear gal! I hope you have something you enjoy planned for the weekend. I think it’s so important that we take a day or two each week to refresh our souls, both through worship and healthy self-care. The weekend is a great time to get out to enjoy the beautiful colors of autumn, go for a hike, get coffee later in the morning or eat outside on the patio. But it’s also a good time for us talk inner beauty. So let’s talk about the beauty of not being easily offended.

The beauty of no offense taken

As we inch closer to Election Day, I fear that we are all getting a little more on edge. I know I am. And that’s after spending months upon months cooped up in our homes, limited in our social interaction and watching our waistlines expand in our sweat pants. Ha! Yeah, it’s easy to be a little testy right now.

But if ever there’s been a day when we need to give grace more lavishly, we’re definitely living in it. Lines have been drawn in almost every arena of our lives. Even in our families, our churches, our neighborhoods and our social media feeds we’re constantly reminded that even the people we love and admire are on different sides of the issues from us. I dare say few of us are able to find even one other individual who agrees on absolutely every little thing with us.

Why we’re easily offended…

That’s why I think it’s more important than ever that we be women who are not so easily offended.

And that’s hard. Right? Especially when…

  • we’ll feel there’s so much at stake.
  • things feel personal.
  • we’ve invested a lot of time or effort or money into something being called into question.
  • we feel misunderstood.
  • the other person seems insensitive and cruel.

Can you think of other reasons why we sometimes are so easily offended?

If we look at that list, we soon realize that personal offenses are generally tied to our feelings of self-worth. And I’ve found that any time my feelings or emotions are generating or guiding my behavior, the solution is to speak truth over them.

Remember, feelings are real, but they are not always trustworthy.

Just because I feel hurt or misunderstood or even devalued does not mean I should respond from that position. That’s called wearing my feelings on my sleeve. And that, dear friend, is never attractive.

How can I be less easily offended?

As I’ve been fielding some not-so-kind comments on my YouTube channel recently, I’ve been thinking through how I can be less easily offended. Don’t get me wrong, 99% of the comments I receive are so positive and kind and generous. But it only takes one very snarky and biting comment to get my ire up. Yeah, that’s how quickly I can go from feeling loved and affirmed to feeling offended.

Anyhow…here are a few things I’ve learned. See if these principles might help you in the areas in which you are sometimes easily offended, too.

  1. I have to determine not to be easily swayed by other people’s opinions – whether positive or negative. People pleasing never bodes well, regardless of the temperature of the current sentiments.
  2. I have to consciously elevate truth over my feelings. Instead of giving weight to my feelings, I have to let the truth anchor me.
  3. I have to give people room to feel differently than I do without labeling them as bad or stupid or other negative labels. Even if the other person says something that seems to devalue me, I choose to value them as a person.
  4. I don’t need to give other people’s opinions the power to get me off course or even to question my decisions. Especially if the person is sitting in the cheap seats and is not on the playing field with me. Know what I mean? If I’m putting myself out there in some area and they are not, then they don’t get the power to sway me off course.
  5. I must continue to see other people, even when the disagree with me, as people who are created in the image of God and worthy of my gracious respect. That doesn’t mean I have to respect their opinion; but it does mean I treat them with respect and kindness.

Well, these are just a few of my thoughts. Of course, in this recent video I addressed how to respond to people instead of reacting. But today I really wanted to think more along the lines of not being so easily offended to begin with. I’m not totally sure I stuck to my original thought line, but I hope I at least got the conversation started.

I’d love to hear your thoughts on how we can be less easily offended. I think it’s so important as we continue to live, work and even worship alongside people who see things differently than we do.

Do you have thoughts you’d like to share about today’s topic? I’d love to hear from you today! I tend to take as much time off from work as I can during the weekends, so I may not reply to your comments unless you ask me a direct question. But I’d love for you to carry on this conversation in the comment section below. And you can know for certain that I read and value each and every comment. Please remember that I try to keep this space free from controversy, so let’s stay away from the topic of politics or other divisive issues.

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xoxo, Kay
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15 thoughts on “Are You Easily Offended?

  1. This reflects back to respond as opposed to react. Sometimes though, at least for me, it’s helpful when done with equanimity to look for truth in criticisms. Asking the questions “What can I learn form this? Is there an element of truth that can help me grow?” Sometimes our critics are our best avenues for growth.

  2. This is so pertinent to me in my life right now. Today is a Retirement party that I didn’t get invited too. It hurts!! The truth is I didn’t know the person that well. When I looked at the “truth”, I am not as offended. I also remind myself of all the friends I do have. The election is also causing stress. I think most of us agree we will be glad when it’s over!

  3. Hi Kay,
    This is a very much appreciated post. As an elementary teacher who is currently teaching students virtually, I have had a few recent situations where grace had to be extended. I always try to please people, but I am learning now to stand up for my core values and beliefs more. I am also learning not to take offenses personally, but to see what struggles might lie behind those offenses. Viewing every person through God’s love lens helps! Thank you for your inspiration to be the best self possible. 🙂

  4. These are very good points, and I some of us are hard-wired to be more easily offended, and/or let other people’s opinions impact us (raising my hand). I’m working very hard on changing that, and your post definitely speaks to me and offers needed suggestions (I’m writing these down, believe me!) I am a newly recovering people pleaser, and that is something that requires much effort. It’s interesting to see how this also impacts those who are trying to shall we say, push me around. Lots of conflicts as they realize it’s not going to be the “old way” any longer! At the same time, like you mention, I am trying to see others as the Lord sees them and just stay in my own lane!

  5. What a timely message – Were you in my workplace this past week? Haha! I have gone over this a lot this past week. Reminding myself that everyone is under a lot of stress right now . And, as previously mentioned, how can I maybe do things differently to avoid this type of situation and/or make things easier for others.

  6. Thank you Kay – great post today and it’s something we all need. Some say 10% of life is what actually happens, and 90% is how we respond to it. We are in charge of how we respond to one another — we can be angry, shout back, be snippy….or we can respond with kindness. Talking about our feelings helps a great deal — sometimes we need someone to remind us that a person is speaking from the cheap seats. Thank you!

  7. It’s one thing to leave a critical comment in a kind, respectful way. It’s a whole other thing to do it in a snarky, mean way. There’s just no reason for that, and unfortunately it happens way too much on social media. People take out their aggressions on other sweet people like you. There is a huge lack of respect in our society today and it’s really sad. You seem to be one of the nicest people out there and I have so enjoyed your posts and videos. Thank you for all the hard work you put into this. It has helped me tremendously. There’s always going to be opposition in all things…just remember how much you are loved and admired by people all over the world! Hugs from Texas.

  8. I can honestly say that I love your daily posts and videos! They help me in my daily life and provide much inspiration !

  9. Kay,
    Your post has certainly resonated with me today. It could not have come at a better time
    It seems like everyone is dealing with stress and anxiety. The prolonged dealing with Covid, the election process and concerns for our future, has definitely resulted in atendency to be easily irritated.
    Your insight is greatly appreciated. I look forward to your daily posts. God bless you!

  10. Thank you for being transparent and sharing this w us! I sometimes take offense to things friends say or do. But I’ve tried to work on that by realizing that I’m a child of The Most High King and am made in His image. I say that to myself when I’m hurt and it truly makes me realize that I should not take offense! But it inevitable in this broken world.

  11. This is so what I needed to hear. My supervisor has hurt my feelings on so many different occasions and I think that Im handling it ok until someone (close friend or family member) asks how was my day then it all comes tumbling out. All my hurt feelings, feelings not good etc. I pray can remember these few steps In the future

  12. I’m having a stressful time taking other family members political differences than mine. What you commented hits the spot and will truly help me communicate better with them. Thanks

  13. Thank You Kay for sharing your thoughts. I needed the reminder in not being easily offended. Sometimes I allow others to push my buttons and I react with anger. GOD did create us all in His image and loves us equally. I look forward to your post, they have been a blessing to me.

  14. Kay ,to me it is so relaxing and fun to watch your YouTube channel and posts after a long day of hard work.
    You are a blessing !!!
    “ His Mercies Are New Every Morning “
    Love, catia